Time has no meaning for me anymore, either that or i do not have any frame of reference. Miss Carla removed me from my cell recently and allowed me to see. Each and every day i thank Her for my sight which She has kindly allowed me to retain. Miss Carla makes certain i know my place which is on my knees looking up to Her and makes sure i am constantly restrained and gagged. She uses me from time to time probably to reinforce that i am Her property and She can do whatever She wishes to me.
After finishing with me Miss Carla left me on the binding device near the TP landing. Time seemed to have passed slowly before i was removed from the device, leashed and taken to a nearby cell. I can see visitors but have no way to communicate as my IM's were removed and my gags prevent any speech. People do stop by to see me. My heartbeat increases each and every time i see someone walking toward me. Some even attempt to start a conversation, but after a while people leave as no one seems to want to talk to someone who cannot talk back. My self esteem has slipped to a low point.
I have come to crave seeing Miss Carla but i realize She is busy and i am but a decoration for the Castle. This has resulted in frustration and near despair at times. When no one is around i find myself with tears in my eyes. The same questions keep running through my mind, how long will i be here...what will happen to me...will i ever be able to leave?
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